Living through tragedy while pregnant

Mother is simply defined in the dictionary as "woman in relation to her child or children" I wish it were that simple. Mother to me, means warmth, love, protection, provider, sacrifice and the list goes on.

It wasn't until I was about 3 months pregnant that I truly understood and enveloped what being a Mom really meant.  My Brother and best friend, died tragically and suddenly at 32yrs old. I dropped to my knees.  How could this amazing guy, father, son and friend be gone?  

My family and I gathered at his apartment searching for answers. Asking ourselves what we could have done differently to change the course of what took place.  We desperately wanted to travel back in time and have our guy back.

My heart and head were in opposition.  My heart was broken, but my head said I needed to remain strong for the sake of my child. In that moment, I became a Mother.  I wanted my unborn baby to be healthy and happy. 

December 2017 my husband and I welcomed a healthy baby boy.  He has my brother's beautiful full brown eyes.

I stepped back from crazzicute.  I had to.

Having my son has pushed me in ways I never thought was possible.  Like being so exhausted that the thought of getting up was unconscionable!  Then I hear that cry and every fiber in my tired body awakes without pause.

The passion I have for crazzicute is renewed.  I've created something that the most precious person on this earth to me, can run, play and sometimes, sleep in (don't judge me) His beautiful silky skin will never become irritated because no pesticide residues or synthetic fertilizers are used.  I'll never get frustrated with how many times I have to wash his shirts due to spills.  The color stays the same, it never fades because it's durable. 

My Mom and I had a conversation after my brother passed and it hit me.  Life was still happening.  People were moving around, laughing, making plans and most importantly living.

"Life is short, and it's up to you to make it sweet."- Sadie Delany

8 comments

Your a beautiful soul and so happy that your sharing your talent with the world again❤️

Angie July 23, 2020

Love conquers all! Big hug to you and your family, and thanks for sharing your amazing story!

Valerie Jackson July 09, 2020
I am so happy to see the rebirth of Crazzicute and your renewed passion for it! Thank you for sharing such a beautiful article! Its hard when you have to take a step back after losing a loved one and even harder when you realize life still keeps moving on without them. I do know that there will beauty for ashes!! Wishing lots of live, success and happinesss!!
Lauren July 05, 2020

The story moved me so much as I too have experienced loss and a reawakening of sorts. I’ve purchased a bundle I await it’s arrival.

Ang July 05, 2020

Beautiful story! Many blessings, and much success!

Robin July 04, 2020

I enjoyed your story Aunty. Keep up the good work and keep being the awesome mother that you are. Love ya

Mrs. Eugune July 04, 2020

Beautiful read J….. I love you💕….. Blessings on your sweet journey!…can’t wait to see what is coming……… Blessed Love Always!

Empress Meserete Uzondu July 04, 2020

Love your story and authenticity – thanks for sharing. Here is to making life sweet!

Ebony July 02, 2020

Leave a comment